Adventure Day 7 & 8 - Šibenik

Days 7 & 8 — Adventure Šibenik (Fortresses, Hills, and Yara’s Attempted Coup d’État)

The last two days were dedicated to Šibenik — a city built on stone, history, and staircases that absolutely do not care about your calves. We explored all three of the city’s famous fortresses, which meant a lot of climbing for me and a lot of complaining from Yara, who rode along like a tiny monarch being carried up a mountain.

But every time we reached the top, she’d fall silent, stare out at the Adriatic, and whisper, “Yes… this is suitable.”
That’s when I knew trouble was coming.

St. Michael’s Fortress — The Birthplace of Šibenik

Our first stop was St. Michael’s Fortress, the oldest of the three, dating back to the 11th century. This is where Šibenik began — the original stronghold around which the city grew. It’s been destroyed, rebuilt, struck by lightning, and rebuilt again.
Yara said she “respects a fortress with drama.”

Today it’s an open‑air stage with sweeping views. Yara approved of the view but said the fortress “needs more portraits of her.”

St. John’s Fortress — Built in Six Weeks Because Panic Works

Next was St. John’s Fortress, towering above the city at 115 meters. Built in 1646 during the Cretan War, it was constructed in six weeks by the citizens of Šibenik after hearing the Ottomans were coming.
Yara said she would have done it in four.

The climb was steep and long. Yara contributed nothing except commentary.

Barone Fortress — The High‑Tech Twin

Right beside St. John’s is Barone Fortress, built in the same summer of 1646, also by the citizens. Today it’s the most modern of the three, with augmented‑reality battle reenactments and a café overlooking the city.
Yara liked this one the most — not because of the history, but because she said the café “had excellent throne potential.”

Yara’s Official Fortress Ranking

After two days of “extensive evaluation,” Yara issued her rankings:

1. Barone Fortress

“Best views, best café, best potential for my future rule.”

2. St. John’s Fortress

“Impressive height. Needs more velvet.”

3. St. Michael’s Fortress

“Historic, but lacking in personal Yara representation.”

She delivered this list with the seriousness of a UNESCO committee.

The Moment Yara Tried to Claim a Fortress

At St. John’s Fortress, after surveying the city like a general preparing for conquest, Yara pointed at the walls and declared:

“I claim this fortress as my kingdom.”

A couple of tourists turned around.
I pretended not to know her.
She then asked if I could “notify the local authorities of the transition of power.”
I told her we were leaving.

Seawall Walk

After conquering (or attempting to conquer) the fortresses, we walked along the seawall — calm water, stone paths, and that perfect Adriatic breeze. Yara insisted on several photos, naturally.

Staying at “Mistique” — A Home Above History

Our apartment, Mistique, sits directly on top of an ancient water tank. There’s even an access panel in the floor that opens right into the old cistern.
Yara stared into it and said, “This will be my dungeon.”
I closed the panel immediately.